This is why Nobody likes you - Kat 0: Cops 2

Here’s how it plays out: Niagara cops are assholes. I mean not the jerky “all cops are assholes” kind of way, I mean a special kind that hates people. ALL people, and probably everything they stand for. And their pets. They probably even hate kittens, guys.

The first part goes down like this: I pull around a corner off the highway after almost getting sideswiped by some old guy in a beige buick who decided he could up and ‘merge lane’ right into my car; and lo, at the bottom of the hill is a cruiser. Just waiting. I’m aware I’m probably going a little fast and slow down. Nope, I’m going a lot fast. This fellow reduces my ticket some on the vague justification that I’m not from the area and just be more careful, ok? Sure. I can see the 80kph sign just ahead of my car. The stunning Niagara police force has found the 100m section of one road that happens to be a 60 zone (apparently) and pick off everyone. I can say this with relative certainty as I went by the same place the next day and lo, there was a cruiser in the same damn spot, just past the 60 sign, almost right beside the 80 sign. Jerks with a quota I tell you.

Part 2: going home today I’m traveling down a highway at the posted limit I come across three or four cruisers across the road. Nobody is directing traffic, so I idle up to the nearest car and have the guy roll down his window...and the conversation goes something like this:


Me: “Hey, how do I get through this?”
Him: “Not this way, obviously.”
Me: “Right, I’m new to the area and don’t know my way around. Where do I go?”
Him: “Turn around and hang a left and another left.”
Me: “Great, thanks” 

Which I did, because despite looking like an idiot I’m capable of following directions. Except that they landed me in the middle of fucking nowhere. Why? Probably because he hates kittens, like I said.
Also, I’m offended by the ‘obviously’ in his statement. It wasn’t obvious at all jerkoff. That’s why I asked. It looked like there was room to get through. It’s a valid question. Get out of your damn car and set up a proper roadblock or something.


Stop harassing me about road safety, harass the guy that tried to merge into my car. I know how to drive. How about bringing down your violent crime rate so I don’t feel like I might be getting robbed while I sleep? huh?
Oh wait, you’re probably paid off by the big Italian Mob families that run the whole area (seriously). Never mind. I’ll go sleep with the fishes. 


Man I hate this place.