Just in time for another entry! Today the copy of “The Elements of Style” by Strunk and White came in. If you don’t know what this is, you are entirely normal. You may (or may not) have taken an English class in high school. It’s a reference book, and it’s pretty bad at that. Sure it’s accurate; it’s glaringly accurate. Some of the acclaim on the back makes bold statements like “Buy it, study it, enjoy it. It’s as timeless as a book can be in our age of volubility.” (NY Times)
Author’s Note: I had to google ‘volubility’ too. Let’s go with ‘fluency’
Here’s the problem; it’s really hard to enjoy this kind of book. Rather it was hard to enjoy this kind of book. Along with “The Elements of Style” I also managed to purchase “The Elements of Fucking Style” by Chris Baker and Jacob Hansen; it’s basically a clone of the first one. Except it’s better. Headings include “A dash is more useful than a fucking Swiss Army Knife,” “Paragraphs make you look smart,” and “Symmetry is the tits.”
The bonus here is that I’m not only super-paranoid that someone is going to call me on how awful my blogrammar is but it also makes me want to correct it. Neat huh? I’m pretty sure they should use this version when they’re explaining shit in school. Nobody cares about the following:
“The best way to see the country, unless you are pressed for time, is to travel on foot.”
Sure it’s an easy rule to remember, parenthetic expressions being what they are, it’s sort of how they roll.
Everyone is going to remember this rule with this exemplar:
“The best way to deflower a virgin, unless you’re a sadist, is to bite down on her ear as you slide it in.”
See? You can’t un-remember that. This is why it should be the new standard. Sure it’s funny, sure it’s offensive, but you know what? It’s still accurate. It accomplishes exactly what the real book does with more whimsy, and examples that are going to stick with you.
It’s $10 and 86 pages of unmitigated awesome. Go get you some grammar, son.
Peace out.
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