This might be what dying feels like

So at this very second it feels like I’ve got an alien chestburster hammering under my ribcage...sort of bottom sternum area. It’s only been doing this about 6 or 7 hours, and I can’t tell if it’s more like “heartburn” or “heart attack” in pain (sidenote: I know women get hear attacks differently than men). I have tried eating, not eating, drinking water, not drinking, drinking orange juice (for the record, that one was actually painful). I clearly have only one option left: get drunk. I’m hopeful this will mean I won’t care that my stomach wants to die.


I’m pretty sure this is my doctor’s fault.

For the first time in my life they did some blood work, and decided that I was low on iron. Historically, the blood donor place hasn’t had much to say about it. They have minimum standards for iron count and I’m always up.

So anyways, my iron is apparently very low. So now I’m taking supplements. Which suck. I’m not getting into the nitty gritty, but there’s weird GI stuff going on. Plus stomach cramps. You know, the kind where you think you’re going to throw up, but then you don’t? They just hang around being all like:
     “hey, remember how you sometimes forget to eat? this is probably that.” 
to which I say:
     “no stomach, we just ate dinner. Remember the orange juice you hated?”
     “right, let’s not do that again...k?”
     “fine. I’m thirsty though, can you stomach water?”
     “dunno....I mean, you’re being really petty. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
     “fine. Have some chocolate wafer thingies.” 

I tend to give in on these battles, because chocolate wafer thingies are damn tasty. As you can see, maybe going to the doctor is a bad choice here. I’m going to wait it out, if I’m alive in the morning and not curled into a pain-ball, I win. If anything else happens we’ll re-evaluate.

In the meantime; I’mma watch Carnivale. Also, drinkin’.