So at this very second it feels like I’ve got an alien chestburster hammering under my ribcage...sort of bottom sternum area. It’s only been doing this about 6 or 7 hours, and I can’t tell if it’s more like “heartburn” or “heart attack” in pain (sidenote: I know women get hear attacks differently than men). I have tried eating, not eating, drinking water, not drinking, drinking orange juice (for the record, that one was actually painful). I clearly have only one option left: get drunk. I’m hopeful this will mean I won’t care that my stomach wants to die.
I’m pretty sure this is my doctor’s fault.
For the first time in my life they did some blood work, and decided that I was low on iron. Historically, the blood donor place hasn’t had much to say about it. They have minimum standards for iron count and I’m always up.
So anyways, my iron is apparently very low. So now I’m taking supplements. Which suck. I’m not getting into the nitty gritty, but there’s weird GI stuff going on. Plus stomach cramps. You know, the kind where you think you’re going to throw up, but then you don’t? They just hang around being all like:
“hey, remember how you sometimes forget to eat? this is probably that.”
to which I say:
“no stomach, we just ate dinner. Remember the orange juice you hated?”
“right, let’s not do that again...k?”
“fine. I’m thirsty though, can you stomach water?”
“dunno....I mean, you’re being really petty. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
“fine. Have some chocolate wafer thingies.”
I tend to give in on these battles, because chocolate wafer thingies are damn tasty. As you can see, maybe going to the doctor is a bad choice here. I’m going to wait it out, if I’m alive in the morning and not curled into a pain-ball, I win. If anything else happens we’ll re-evaluate.
In the meantime; I’mma watch Carnivale. Also, drinkin’.
Showing posts with label things I should never talk about. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things I should never talk about. Show all posts
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I wrote this in December...
In a misguided attempt to get ahead on blog posts, I’m going to work on why the world is messed up today. (Hint: it’s a fast one!)
So here’s the thing; I finished reading this book called “Risk” which I bought about two years ago and which has since been relegated to the “to read” shelf. I finally got around to it. The main points in this book make me re-evaluate why we’re messed up (which we are); we (North American Types) are currently the safest, longest lived, richest, best educated people in the history of the human race. Everything is in our corner. Canadians have that bonus Health Care scenario. So why are we all so terrified all the time. The book cited the fact that due to fear of airlines after the 9/11 attacks, 1500 extra people died in traffic collisions in the US alone due to the excess traffic congestion.
What the hell people?
The gist of everything is that we still use our gut more than we’d like to admit, (I should probably throw my “Rational Animal” post up in here before this one) and that as rational as we believe we are it’s all a lie. We’re all messed up because we’re designed to believe everything we hear, see and smell. As evolution goes, the charming folks that decided on clothing and eating food with forks are still babies. We’ve barely done anything in the world evolutionarily. We’re the hominids that hunt bison and discuss that the fruit on the first shrub looks tasty but actually killed Lois over there. The second bush is where the good food is. That’s still how we work.
Ironically, the really rational people out there are derided as having no human instincts...even though that’s sort of our downfall. You’ll find them in Asperger’s cases and the surprisingly brilliant. In a lot of the second class you can almost see the switch turn. You know these people too. They’re the ones you ask when you want the logical choice. They’re the ones you go to with a quandary and start the question with “you’re the most rational person I know...” They flip a switch in their brains to “rational” and dispel any emotional arguments you try to throw in the pot to confuse things.
And then, after all that...we do what we want anyways. Mostly because we’re weak and think we know what’s best for ourselves. Fact of the matter is that we don’t. Left to our own devices we’d often make the wrong choice (see that post about freedom and autonomy) because we throw emotions into everything, and those guys are messy pigs. They apply weight to things that may have no absolute consequence and apply very little to that which really matters in the discussion. What happens in the end is that we buy things we don’t need, we make a choice we ultimately regret, we employ the hindsight principle. That’s the annoying guy you spill your past to who says “well, hindsight’s 20/20” Sure it is. You have information you could never gain in the moment. What
What the jackass comment is trying to point out is that none of us really know what’s going on.
Or maybe he’s trying to be a jackass. That one’s hard to say, though it is a shocking realization to know that everyone is just faking it in the world, trying to make it all look like they’ve got it under control. Nobody does, nobody ever does. Nobody ever has. That’s the important part here. Hominid woke up every morning and said “hey, I didn’t get killed overnight. Cool.” and went on existing, because he was too fucking busy to worry about what it all means. He had to make sure he ate that day, found some safe water and kept his family safe, and with good reason. We “modern folk” have too much spare time. It’s the one thing we desperately want and we waste it with thinking. We’re really new at this step. We’re not used to not seeing our buddies trying to be killed every day. So we’re wasting the time that we would be using to stay alive by hanging around on the internet (guilty as charged) and trying to wax poetic on the weirdness of our existence. We’re not changing anything, we’re basically in the same spot as when Gutenberg invented the printing press. Only difference is that time has elapsed so new things that our brains don’t instinctively understand exist.
This is getting sort of ramble-y. Posse out.
So here’s the thing; I finished reading this book called “Risk” which I bought about two years ago and which has since been relegated to the “to read” shelf. I finally got around to it. The main points in this book make me re-evaluate why we’re messed up (which we are); we (North American Types) are currently the safest, longest lived, richest, best educated people in the history of the human race. Everything is in our corner. Canadians have that bonus Health Care scenario. So why are we all so terrified all the time. The book cited the fact that due to fear of airlines after the 9/11 attacks, 1500 extra people died in traffic collisions in the US alone due to the excess traffic congestion.
What the hell people?
The gist of everything is that we still use our gut more than we’d like to admit, (I should probably throw my “Rational Animal” post up in here before this one) and that as rational as we believe we are it’s all a lie. We’re all messed up because we’re designed to believe everything we hear, see and smell. As evolution goes, the charming folks that decided on clothing and eating food with forks are still babies. We’ve barely done anything in the world evolutionarily. We’re the hominids that hunt bison and discuss that the fruit on the first shrub looks tasty but actually killed Lois over there. The second bush is where the good food is. That’s still how we work.
Ironically, the really rational people out there are derided as having no human instincts...even though that’s sort of our downfall. You’ll find them in Asperger’s cases and the surprisingly brilliant. In a lot of the second class you can almost see the switch turn. You know these people too. They’re the ones you ask when you want the logical choice. They’re the ones you go to with a quandary and start the question with “you’re the most rational person I know...” They flip a switch in their brains to “rational” and dispel any emotional arguments you try to throw in the pot to confuse things.
And then, after all that...we do what we want anyways. Mostly because we’re weak and think we know what’s best for ourselves. Fact of the matter is that we don’t. Left to our own devices we’d often make the wrong choice (see that post about freedom and autonomy) because we throw emotions into everything, and those guys are messy pigs. They apply weight to things that may have no absolute consequence and apply very little to that which really matters in the discussion. What happens in the end is that we buy things we don’t need, we make a choice we ultimately regret, we employ the hindsight principle. That’s the annoying guy you spill your past to who says “well, hindsight’s 20/20” Sure it is. You have information you could never gain in the moment. What
What the jackass comment is trying to point out is that none of us really know what’s going on.
Or maybe he’s trying to be a jackass. That one’s hard to say, though it is a shocking realization to know that everyone is just faking it in the world, trying to make it all look like they’ve got it under control. Nobody does, nobody ever does. Nobody ever has. That’s the important part here. Hominid woke up every morning and said “hey, I didn’t get killed overnight. Cool.” and went on existing, because he was too fucking busy to worry about what it all means. He had to make sure he ate that day, found some safe water and kept his family safe, and with good reason. We “modern folk” have too much spare time. It’s the one thing we desperately want and we waste it with thinking. We’re really new at this step. We’re not used to not seeing our buddies trying to be killed every day. So we’re wasting the time that we would be using to stay alive by hanging around on the internet (guilty as charged) and trying to wax poetic on the weirdness of our existence. We’re not changing anything, we’re basically in the same spot as when Gutenberg invented the printing press. Only difference is that time has elapsed so new things that our brains don’t instinctively understand exist.
This is getting sort of ramble-y. Posse out.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Why Hate Ayn Rand?
If ever a post would garner me bad traffic, this would be it.
I’m going to say it. It’s different from public opinion; I like Ayn Rand’s novels. First, I will admit I’ve only read two: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. I find them both to be terribly verbose. But I find them both to be enticing. I don’t care what xkcd says (because there’s an apparent unyielding hatred for her works over there).
So, you’ve never heard of her and you don’t care. Cool, please ignore this post and wait for another about something more interesting. Probably about, I don’t know....running, tying ropes, or saying unflattering things about poultry. Something like that. Have a great day regardless.
Hey, you’re still here. Awesome. So here’s the trick; they’re both exceptionally long novels. The Fountainhead clocks in around 694 pages for the Signet Paperback version. Of the two, that was the easy read. Atlas Shrugged clocks in at a staggering 1074 pages in the Signet Paperback market. God help me it’s long, but in my opinion it’s worthwhile.
A lot of people (read: everyone who hates it) find both these works too long and the writing in both to be poor. I’m of the opinion that it’s a style you’re simply no longer accustomed to. They were written in 1943 and 1957 respectively. People used different language.
A little background: From what I understand, Ms. Rand managed to think up this philosophy we’ll call Objectivism. The high points are that there exists an absolute reality, facts are facts despite what we might like to believe. Reason is how we should perceive reality. Man is an end to himself, not the means to the ends of others. (most of this is loosely or verbatim from the website.)
Now, a lot of this makes sense only from very specific standpoints: Nihilism’s a good choice. Nihilism tells us in a very (very) truncated version that “nothing matters”. Acres of self-interested teens take this to the usual depressing place. I get that, but here’s the neat thing: if nothing matters...then there’s nothing standing in your way. How cool is that? Society isn’t keeping you from doing anything, you’re allowing society to keep you from doing things. Society doesn’t care whether you take up tap dance, horse racing, or choose only to eat tapioca for the rest of your life. You get to choose that. We all get to choose that, and that’s the neat part; society is made up of individuals that want their version of the good life for themselves. Take away the idea that we have to worry about societal implications and it’s a whole new ball game.
Note: If you're actually interested you should read up on nihilism. This was a very bad example.
Suddenly; you’re choosing to pay taxes, because you believe in having neighbours, drivable streets and a police force that enforce a set of laws that you by and large have chosen to agree with. Don’t agree with them? Don’t want streets? Feel free to live in a cabin in the woods. Start over from scratch. You can do that. It’s your life.
It seems like we’re getting off track, but we’re not. Here’s where Ms. Rand comes back in. While I’ll admit that some of her specific ideals are cracked (check them out on your own if you like), the overarching themes are worth considering. Somewhere on the internet I found the quote that “You’ll find people aren’t holding the door open for you, but neither are they holding it shut.” It’s showing (me at least) that we’re ultimately in charge of our own destiny. People who work hard get rewarded, people who refuse do not. You have no right to demand your personal happiness from others, much as they have no right to demand that from you.
Outside of this, I think she takes it too far. It is a good point of inspiration; nobody’s going to pick you up and make you great. You have to find it in yourself and show your greatness, then you’ll open yourself up to a world that allows great people to achieve great things.
I still believe in social programs, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to try hard enough that you’ll never need them. When you do, however, they will be there in force.
Oh, and for the record; Atlas Shrugged is long because (so meta!) it’s illustrating that hard work pays off. Read through it, get a sense of accomplishment.
I’m going to say it. It’s different from public opinion; I like Ayn Rand’s novels. First, I will admit I’ve only read two: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. I find them both to be terribly verbose. But I find them both to be enticing. I don’t care what xkcd says (because there’s an apparent unyielding hatred for her works over there).
So, you’ve never heard of her and you don’t care. Cool, please ignore this post and wait for another about something more interesting. Probably about, I don’t know....running, tying ropes, or saying unflattering things about poultry. Something like that. Have a great day regardless.
Hey, you’re still here. Awesome. So here’s the trick; they’re both exceptionally long novels. The Fountainhead clocks in around 694 pages for the Signet Paperback version. Of the two, that was the easy read. Atlas Shrugged clocks in at a staggering 1074 pages in the Signet Paperback market. God help me it’s long, but in my opinion it’s worthwhile.
A lot of people (read: everyone who hates it) find both these works too long and the writing in both to be poor. I’m of the opinion that it’s a style you’re simply no longer accustomed to. They were written in 1943 and 1957 respectively. People used different language.
A little background: From what I understand, Ms. Rand managed to think up this philosophy we’ll call Objectivism. The high points are that there exists an absolute reality, facts are facts despite what we might like to believe. Reason is how we should perceive reality. Man is an end to himself, not the means to the ends of others. (most of this is loosely or verbatim from the website.)
Now, a lot of this makes sense only from very specific standpoints: Nihilism’s a good choice. Nihilism tells us in a very (very) truncated version that “nothing matters”. Acres of self-interested teens take this to the usual depressing place. I get that, but here’s the neat thing: if nothing matters...then there’s nothing standing in your way. How cool is that? Society isn’t keeping you from doing anything, you’re allowing society to keep you from doing things. Society doesn’t care whether you take up tap dance, horse racing, or choose only to eat tapioca for the rest of your life. You get to choose that. We all get to choose that, and that’s the neat part; society is made up of individuals that want their version of the good life for themselves. Take away the idea that we have to worry about societal implications and it’s a whole new ball game.
Note: If you're actually interested you should read up on nihilism. This was a very bad example.
Suddenly; you’re choosing to pay taxes, because you believe in having neighbours, drivable streets and a police force that enforce a set of laws that you by and large have chosen to agree with. Don’t agree with them? Don’t want streets? Feel free to live in a cabin in the woods. Start over from scratch. You can do that. It’s your life.
It seems like we’re getting off track, but we’re not. Here’s where Ms. Rand comes back in. While I’ll admit that some of her specific ideals are cracked (check them out on your own if you like), the overarching themes are worth considering. Somewhere on the internet I found the quote that “You’ll find people aren’t holding the door open for you, but neither are they holding it shut.” It’s showing (me at least) that we’re ultimately in charge of our own destiny. People who work hard get rewarded, people who refuse do not. You have no right to demand your personal happiness from others, much as they have no right to demand that from you.
Outside of this, I think she takes it too far. It is a good point of inspiration; nobody’s going to pick you up and make you great. You have to find it in yourself and show your greatness, then you’ll open yourself up to a world that allows great people to achieve great things.
I still believe in social programs, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to try hard enough that you’ll never need them. When you do, however, they will be there in force.
Oh, and for the record; Atlas Shrugged is long because (so meta!) it’s illustrating that hard work pays off. Read through it, get a sense of accomplishment.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Stealing things from the internet: Vol 2: The Return of Hackneyed Writing: I’m going to lose my russians.
If Wil Wheaton can manage to start up his Radio Free Burrito again, I should at least pretend that something exciting has happened somewhere.
SO: Spend about 40 minutes listening to Wil: http://radiofreeburrito.com/2012/03/index.html
Uh, I bought one of those tablet thingies. It’s cool and makes me believe yet again that we live in the future.
I’m super excited that the Hunger Games is impending in movie-land...just like every 14 year old out there.
Community is back on the tv! About damn time NBC.
Hanna Hart did an MRE episode where she attempts to “eat” some military “food”. It goes as expected, I can’t decide whether Bud Light helped or hurt:
I’ve been slacking at life...worked at being better at ukulele, as that’s obviously an important life skill. I am still reading the longest Stephen King book ever; The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition just. keeps. going. I mean, it’s really a solid read, it just never ends. I’ve been reading it so long I got a cold, thought I would die (because that’s how it all starts in the book) and recovered with little fanfare and equal parts embarrassment and disappointment. At 1152 pages Wikipedia tells me it’s 10 pages longer than his other epic: It. (Un?)fortunately I already bought the movie for about $5 and so will be unlikely to read it. Really I'm just saving myself a lot of time.
Oh, which brings me to Hearts in Atlantis which is really so much better than the movie and entirely worth reading, though the title really only pertains to the...second? story...which makes it a strange title for the movie, and also explains why it makes significantly less sense as a movie than it does as a collection of vaguely related stories. If you’ve had no experience with either, read it first then watch the movie (if you feel like you have to).
Ugh, coming up with nothing is challenging and I’m not into it today. The winter that never was looks like it’s ended here, and with my natural comic timing, this can only mean that there will be a massive snow squall rip across the city tomorrow.
In related news my comedic timing goes something like this:
Step 1: make vaguely inappropriate joke
Step 2: get tepid-at-best response, complete with awkward glances
Step 3: watch something terrible and entirely related to my joke happen
Step 4: feel like an insensitive shitbag
Step 5: repeat 1-4 as necessary.
At this point I think I’ve checked Facebook 14 times in the last 20 minutes. Nothing has changed. Obviously I want to be done here. I’ll try to come up with better stuff soontimes.
SO: Spend about 40 minutes listening to Wil: http://radiofreeburrito.com/2012/03/index.html
Uh, I bought one of those tablet thingies. It’s cool and makes me believe yet again that we live in the future.
I’m super excited that the Hunger Games is impending in movie-land...just like every 14 year old out there.
Community is back on the tv! About damn time NBC.
Hanna Hart did an MRE episode where she attempts to “eat” some military “food”. It goes as expected, I can’t decide whether Bud Light helped or hurt:
I’ve been slacking at life...worked at being better at ukulele, as that’s obviously an important life skill. I am still reading the longest Stephen King book ever; The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition just. keeps. going. I mean, it’s really a solid read, it just never ends. I’ve been reading it so long I got a cold, thought I would die (because that’s how it all starts in the book) and recovered with little fanfare and equal parts embarrassment and disappointment. At 1152 pages Wikipedia tells me it’s 10 pages longer than his other epic: It. (Un?)fortunately I already bought the movie for about $5 and so will be unlikely to read it. Really I'm just saving myself a lot of time.
Oh, which brings me to Hearts in Atlantis which is really so much better than the movie and entirely worth reading, though the title really only pertains to the...second? story...which makes it a strange title for the movie, and also explains why it makes significantly less sense as a movie than it does as a collection of vaguely related stories. If you’ve had no experience with either, read it first then watch the movie (if you feel like you have to).
Ugh, coming up with nothing is challenging and I’m not into it today. The winter that never was looks like it’s ended here, and with my natural comic timing, this can only mean that there will be a massive snow squall rip across the city tomorrow.
In related news my comedic timing goes something like this:
Step 1: make vaguely inappropriate joke
Step 2: get tepid-at-best response, complete with awkward glances
Step 3: watch something terrible and entirely related to my joke happen
Step 4: feel like an insensitive shitbag
Step 5: repeat 1-4 as necessary.
At this point I think I’ve checked Facebook 14 times in the last 20 minutes. Nothing has changed. Obviously I want to be done here. I’ll try to come up with better stuff soontimes.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Internet Christians make me so....Changry!
Second. Internet Christians are fucked up. Listen, I understand that you like something you call god. You like it a lot. Right on. Good for you. Now here’s the trick. I was raised pretty Catholic. There’s something you didn’t know but probably-sort-of inferred because unlike you, I’m not really into bragging about religion. Here’s what I think: As a “christian” you haven’t bothered to make a real choice. Christianity is a giant umbrella under which specific things exist. Saying “Oh, I’m a Christian” is like saying “oh, I’m an indecisive moron. I believe everything a church doctrine says and will hate gays until the end of time.” Here’s another trick; Jesus didn’t hate anyone. Not one fucking person. He didn’t even find them mildly annoying. There might have been some misguided pity, but really he just figured everyone was equal. Everyone. For you right-wingers that includes the gays, for instance.
There’s a good target. Let’s believe gay folks are wrong. Wait, no because I heard once that some church-thing says that judgement is wrong. Something about “Let one without sin cast the first stone.” Let me tell you, none of us are without sin. That’s the legal jargon of the bible. NOBODY gets through this world without some sort of sin.
For those who skipped religion as a whole class; let’s review the Decalogue shall we?
Ps. That’s the Ten Commandments homeslice. I’ma punk out for a while. See you after all these “rules”
- “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
- “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
- “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
- “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
- “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
- “You shall not murder.
- “You shall not commit adultery.
- “You shall not steal.
- “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
- “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”
So Internet here’s the critical points as far as I’m concerned:
- Nobody says anything about hating gays. Back the fuck off.
- Nobody says anything about how you’re better than anyone else. Back the fuck off.
- Try to swear about god less. You know, as a precaution.
- Take a day off. Even psychopaths take a day to relax once in a while.
- Don’t fuck with your parents. They raised you, and since you’re alive they probably didn’t do so bad. That job did not come with a how-to guide.
- Don’t actively kill people. Pretty obvious, right? Oh, right. War. Fucked that up. Again.
- Don’t actively fuck people that are attached to others. This includes “conventionally married couples,” “gays,” “asexual partnerships,” and other “complicated relationships” that I’ve missed (sorry folks, I mean well. Keep me up on the lingo!)
- to be fair, don’t passively fuck them either. I’m not sure that’s any better for your karma.
- ps. if you don’t think anything after “conventionally married couples” is worth considering, then what’s “convention” really worth?
- Don’t steal. This includes corporations. It’s bad for everyone. How would you feel if one day you woke up and everything you owned was gone because someone else decreed that they needed it more? Just think about other people, ok?
- Don’t lie. In the US the 5th Amendment deals with this in a way. What the burning bush wants here is just be honest. The skin you save may be your own.
- Stop keeping up with the Joneses. They’re not paying attention anyway. Moreover if they are, do the seriously not have anything better to do? Go do your own thing. But be a decent human being while doing so.
God doesn’t care if you’re gay.
He doesn’t care if you make a six figure salary.
He doesn’t care about what colour shirt you wear.
He doesn’t care that your child is going into pre-school with those “heathens.”
He’s pretty sure we’re all equal. Everyone. Why are you entitled to happiness but that guy or girl isn’t just because they don’t like the same things you do?
I hate American Idol. Does that make me a sinner? So why is the kind of person I choose any more relevant?
Moreover, why does it change your life in any significant way?
If you say you’re entitled to cast that first stone, you’re lying. We’re all lying.
It’s how we do.
Oh, and before I fuck off to hang with the heathens, think about this:
The word of god is the word of god. The word of the church is man trying to make sense of it.
Posse out.
Do I need to point out that man is inherently fallilble, or did I imply that enough?
-Rhetoric OUT.
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