So at this very second it feels like I’ve got an alien chestburster hammering under my ribcage...sort of bottom sternum area. It’s only been doing this about 6 or 7 hours, and I can’t tell if it’s more like “heartburn” or “heart attack” in pain (sidenote: I know women get hear attacks differently than men). I have tried eating, not eating, drinking water, not drinking, drinking orange juice (for the record, that one was actually painful). I clearly have only one option left: get drunk. I’m hopeful this will mean I won’t care that my stomach wants to die.
I’m pretty sure this is my doctor’s fault.
For the first time in my life they did some blood work, and decided that I was low on iron. Historically, the blood donor place hasn’t had much to say about it. They have minimum standards for iron count and I’m always up.
So anyways, my iron is apparently very low. So now I’m taking supplements. Which suck. I’m not getting into the nitty gritty, but there’s weird GI stuff going on. Plus stomach cramps. You know, the kind where you think you’re going to throw up, but then you don’t? They just hang around being all like:
“hey, remember how you sometimes forget to eat? this is probably that.”
to which I say:
“no stomach, we just ate dinner. Remember the orange juice you hated?”
“right, let’s not do that again...k?”
“fine. I’m thirsty though, can you stomach water?”
“dunno....I mean, you’re being really petty. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
“fine. Have some chocolate wafer thingies.”
I tend to give in on these battles, because chocolate wafer thingies are damn tasty. As you can see, maybe going to the doctor is a bad choice here. I’m going to wait it out, if I’m alive in the morning and not curled into a pain-ball, I win. If anything else happens we’ll re-evaluate.
In the meantime; I’mma watch Carnivale. Also, drinkin’.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I wrote this in December...
In a misguided attempt to get ahead on blog posts, I’m going to work on why the world is messed up today. (Hint: it’s a fast one!)
So here’s the thing; I finished reading this book called “Risk” which I bought about two years ago and which has since been relegated to the “to read” shelf. I finally got around to it. The main points in this book make me re-evaluate why we’re messed up (which we are); we (North American Types) are currently the safest, longest lived, richest, best educated people in the history of the human race. Everything is in our corner. Canadians have that bonus Health Care scenario. So why are we all so terrified all the time. The book cited the fact that due to fear of airlines after the 9/11 attacks, 1500 extra people died in traffic collisions in the US alone due to the excess traffic congestion.
What the hell people?
The gist of everything is that we still use our gut more than we’d like to admit, (I should probably throw my “Rational Animal” post up in here before this one) and that as rational as we believe we are it’s all a lie. We’re all messed up because we’re designed to believe everything we hear, see and smell. As evolution goes, the charming folks that decided on clothing and eating food with forks are still babies. We’ve barely done anything in the world evolutionarily. We’re the hominids that hunt bison and discuss that the fruit on the first shrub looks tasty but actually killed Lois over there. The second bush is where the good food is. That’s still how we work.
Ironically, the really rational people out there are derided as having no human instincts...even though that’s sort of our downfall. You’ll find them in Asperger’s cases and the surprisingly brilliant. In a lot of the second class you can almost see the switch turn. You know these people too. They’re the ones you ask when you want the logical choice. They’re the ones you go to with a quandary and start the question with “you’re the most rational person I know...” They flip a switch in their brains to “rational” and dispel any emotional arguments you try to throw in the pot to confuse things.
And then, after all that...we do what we want anyways. Mostly because we’re weak and think we know what’s best for ourselves. Fact of the matter is that we don’t. Left to our own devices we’d often make the wrong choice (see that post about freedom and autonomy) because we throw emotions into everything, and those guys are messy pigs. They apply weight to things that may have no absolute consequence and apply very little to that which really matters in the discussion. What happens in the end is that we buy things we don’t need, we make a choice we ultimately regret, we employ the hindsight principle. That’s the annoying guy you spill your past to who says “well, hindsight’s 20/20” Sure it is. You have information you could never gain in the moment. What
What the jackass comment is trying to point out is that none of us really know what’s going on.
Or maybe he’s trying to be a jackass. That one’s hard to say, though it is a shocking realization to know that everyone is just faking it in the world, trying to make it all look like they’ve got it under control. Nobody does, nobody ever does. Nobody ever has. That’s the important part here. Hominid woke up every morning and said “hey, I didn’t get killed overnight. Cool.” and went on existing, because he was too fucking busy to worry about what it all means. He had to make sure he ate that day, found some safe water and kept his family safe, and with good reason. We “modern folk” have too much spare time. It’s the one thing we desperately want and we waste it with thinking. We’re really new at this step. We’re not used to not seeing our buddies trying to be killed every day. So we’re wasting the time that we would be using to stay alive by hanging around on the internet (guilty as charged) and trying to wax poetic on the weirdness of our existence. We’re not changing anything, we’re basically in the same spot as when Gutenberg invented the printing press. Only difference is that time has elapsed so new things that our brains don’t instinctively understand exist.
This is getting sort of ramble-y. Posse out.
So here’s the thing; I finished reading this book called “Risk” which I bought about two years ago and which has since been relegated to the “to read” shelf. I finally got around to it. The main points in this book make me re-evaluate why we’re messed up (which we are); we (North American Types) are currently the safest, longest lived, richest, best educated people in the history of the human race. Everything is in our corner. Canadians have that bonus Health Care scenario. So why are we all so terrified all the time. The book cited the fact that due to fear of airlines after the 9/11 attacks, 1500 extra people died in traffic collisions in the US alone due to the excess traffic congestion.
What the hell people?
The gist of everything is that we still use our gut more than we’d like to admit, (I should probably throw my “Rational Animal” post up in here before this one) and that as rational as we believe we are it’s all a lie. We’re all messed up because we’re designed to believe everything we hear, see and smell. As evolution goes, the charming folks that decided on clothing and eating food with forks are still babies. We’ve barely done anything in the world evolutionarily. We’re the hominids that hunt bison and discuss that the fruit on the first shrub looks tasty but actually killed Lois over there. The second bush is where the good food is. That’s still how we work.
Ironically, the really rational people out there are derided as having no human instincts...even though that’s sort of our downfall. You’ll find them in Asperger’s cases and the surprisingly brilliant. In a lot of the second class you can almost see the switch turn. You know these people too. They’re the ones you ask when you want the logical choice. They’re the ones you go to with a quandary and start the question with “you’re the most rational person I know...” They flip a switch in their brains to “rational” and dispel any emotional arguments you try to throw in the pot to confuse things.
And then, after all that...we do what we want anyways. Mostly because we’re weak and think we know what’s best for ourselves. Fact of the matter is that we don’t. Left to our own devices we’d often make the wrong choice (see that post about freedom and autonomy) because we throw emotions into everything, and those guys are messy pigs. They apply weight to things that may have no absolute consequence and apply very little to that which really matters in the discussion. What happens in the end is that we buy things we don’t need, we make a choice we ultimately regret, we employ the hindsight principle. That’s the annoying guy you spill your past to who says “well, hindsight’s 20/20” Sure it is. You have information you could never gain in the moment. What
What the jackass comment is trying to point out is that none of us really know what’s going on.
Or maybe he’s trying to be a jackass. That one’s hard to say, though it is a shocking realization to know that everyone is just faking it in the world, trying to make it all look like they’ve got it under control. Nobody does, nobody ever does. Nobody ever has. That’s the important part here. Hominid woke up every morning and said “hey, I didn’t get killed overnight. Cool.” and went on existing, because he was too fucking busy to worry about what it all means. He had to make sure he ate that day, found some safe water and kept his family safe, and with good reason. We “modern folk” have too much spare time. It’s the one thing we desperately want and we waste it with thinking. We’re really new at this step. We’re not used to not seeing our buddies trying to be killed every day. So we’re wasting the time that we would be using to stay alive by hanging around on the internet (guilty as charged) and trying to wax poetic on the weirdness of our existence. We’re not changing anything, we’re basically in the same spot as when Gutenberg invented the printing press. Only difference is that time has elapsed so new things that our brains don’t instinctively understand exist.
This is getting sort of ramble-y. Posse out.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Why Hate Ayn Rand?
If ever a post would garner me bad traffic, this would be it.
I’m going to say it. It’s different from public opinion; I like Ayn Rand’s novels. First, I will admit I’ve only read two: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. I find them both to be terribly verbose. But I find them both to be enticing. I don’t care what xkcd says (because there’s an apparent unyielding hatred for her works over there).
So, you’ve never heard of her and you don’t care. Cool, please ignore this post and wait for another about something more interesting. Probably about, I don’t know....running, tying ropes, or saying unflattering things about poultry. Something like that. Have a great day regardless.
Hey, you’re still here. Awesome. So here’s the trick; they’re both exceptionally long novels. The Fountainhead clocks in around 694 pages for the Signet Paperback version. Of the two, that was the easy read. Atlas Shrugged clocks in at a staggering 1074 pages in the Signet Paperback market. God help me it’s long, but in my opinion it’s worthwhile.
A lot of people (read: everyone who hates it) find both these works too long and the writing in both to be poor. I’m of the opinion that it’s a style you’re simply no longer accustomed to. They were written in 1943 and 1957 respectively. People used different language.
A little background: From what I understand, Ms. Rand managed to think up this philosophy we’ll call Objectivism. The high points are that there exists an absolute reality, facts are facts despite what we might like to believe. Reason is how we should perceive reality. Man is an end to himself, not the means to the ends of others. (most of this is loosely or verbatim from the website.)
Now, a lot of this makes sense only from very specific standpoints: Nihilism’s a good choice. Nihilism tells us in a very (very) truncated version that “nothing matters”. Acres of self-interested teens take this to the usual depressing place. I get that, but here’s the neat thing: if nothing matters...then there’s nothing standing in your way. How cool is that? Society isn’t keeping you from doing anything, you’re allowing society to keep you from doing things. Society doesn’t care whether you take up tap dance, horse racing, or choose only to eat tapioca for the rest of your life. You get to choose that. We all get to choose that, and that’s the neat part; society is made up of individuals that want their version of the good life for themselves. Take away the idea that we have to worry about societal implications and it’s a whole new ball game.
Note: If you're actually interested you should read up on nihilism. This was a very bad example.
Suddenly; you’re choosing to pay taxes, because you believe in having neighbours, drivable streets and a police force that enforce a set of laws that you by and large have chosen to agree with. Don’t agree with them? Don’t want streets? Feel free to live in a cabin in the woods. Start over from scratch. You can do that. It’s your life.
It seems like we’re getting off track, but we’re not. Here’s where Ms. Rand comes back in. While I’ll admit that some of her specific ideals are cracked (check them out on your own if you like), the overarching themes are worth considering. Somewhere on the internet I found the quote that “You’ll find people aren’t holding the door open for you, but neither are they holding it shut.” It’s showing (me at least) that we’re ultimately in charge of our own destiny. People who work hard get rewarded, people who refuse do not. You have no right to demand your personal happiness from others, much as they have no right to demand that from you.
Outside of this, I think she takes it too far. It is a good point of inspiration; nobody’s going to pick you up and make you great. You have to find it in yourself and show your greatness, then you’ll open yourself up to a world that allows great people to achieve great things.
I still believe in social programs, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to try hard enough that you’ll never need them. When you do, however, they will be there in force.
Oh, and for the record; Atlas Shrugged is long because (so meta!) it’s illustrating that hard work pays off. Read through it, get a sense of accomplishment.
I’m going to say it. It’s different from public opinion; I like Ayn Rand’s novels. First, I will admit I’ve only read two: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. I find them both to be terribly verbose. But I find them both to be enticing. I don’t care what xkcd says (because there’s an apparent unyielding hatred for her works over there).
So, you’ve never heard of her and you don’t care. Cool, please ignore this post and wait for another about something more interesting. Probably about, I don’t know....running, tying ropes, or saying unflattering things about poultry. Something like that. Have a great day regardless.
Hey, you’re still here. Awesome. So here’s the trick; they’re both exceptionally long novels. The Fountainhead clocks in around 694 pages for the Signet Paperback version. Of the two, that was the easy read. Atlas Shrugged clocks in at a staggering 1074 pages in the Signet Paperback market. God help me it’s long, but in my opinion it’s worthwhile.
A lot of people (read: everyone who hates it) find both these works too long and the writing in both to be poor. I’m of the opinion that it’s a style you’re simply no longer accustomed to. They were written in 1943 and 1957 respectively. People used different language.
A little background: From what I understand, Ms. Rand managed to think up this philosophy we’ll call Objectivism. The high points are that there exists an absolute reality, facts are facts despite what we might like to believe. Reason is how we should perceive reality. Man is an end to himself, not the means to the ends of others. (most of this is loosely or verbatim from the website.)
Now, a lot of this makes sense only from very specific standpoints: Nihilism’s a good choice. Nihilism tells us in a very (very) truncated version that “nothing matters”. Acres of self-interested teens take this to the usual depressing place. I get that, but here’s the neat thing: if nothing matters...then there’s nothing standing in your way. How cool is that? Society isn’t keeping you from doing anything, you’re allowing society to keep you from doing things. Society doesn’t care whether you take up tap dance, horse racing, or choose only to eat tapioca for the rest of your life. You get to choose that. We all get to choose that, and that’s the neat part; society is made up of individuals that want their version of the good life for themselves. Take away the idea that we have to worry about societal implications and it’s a whole new ball game.
Note: If you're actually interested you should read up on nihilism. This was a very bad example.
Suddenly; you’re choosing to pay taxes, because you believe in having neighbours, drivable streets and a police force that enforce a set of laws that you by and large have chosen to agree with. Don’t agree with them? Don’t want streets? Feel free to live in a cabin in the woods. Start over from scratch. You can do that. It’s your life.
It seems like we’re getting off track, but we’re not. Here’s where Ms. Rand comes back in. While I’ll admit that some of her specific ideals are cracked (check them out on your own if you like), the overarching themes are worth considering. Somewhere on the internet I found the quote that “You’ll find people aren’t holding the door open for you, but neither are they holding it shut.” It’s showing (me at least) that we’re ultimately in charge of our own destiny. People who work hard get rewarded, people who refuse do not. You have no right to demand your personal happiness from others, much as they have no right to demand that from you.
Outside of this, I think she takes it too far. It is a good point of inspiration; nobody’s going to pick you up and make you great. You have to find it in yourself and show your greatness, then you’ll open yourself up to a world that allows great people to achieve great things.
I still believe in social programs, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to try hard enough that you’ll never need them. When you do, however, they will be there in force.
Oh, and for the record; Atlas Shrugged is long because (so meta!) it’s illustrating that hard work pays off. Read through it, get a sense of accomplishment.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Being bad at math...
Hey all, so lately (the last 10 days?) I've been trying to brush up on my relatively terrible math skillz. Mostly because I have none. The internet revealed to me this place called the Khan Academy which is generally helping. It's actually a pretty cool resource for those of us who can't remember basic things like how to do long division. I guess I'm doing a review here...but if you feel shitty about your shitty skills...look into it maybe? There's videos and lots of things to do, it's free and by and large terribly informative.
Also, you get tons of meaningless awards for being able to not fuck things up. It's probably a metaphor for something.
So in my quest for lifelong learning (apparently..), today I was dealing with "Least Common Multiples" and "Greatest Common Divisors," while I think I can (now) technically do both these things...I cannot imagine a world in which I will ever need them. The real world examples had things to do with the hotdog versus bun scenario, to which I say "Who would ever bother figuring this out? I'm not buying 96 packets of hotdogs just so I can finally use up all those pesky buns I bought off the back of a truck."
Who is actually ballsy enough to say "no no, we must figure this out! I'm not taking home any spare unless there's enough of both."? Because let me tell you, Willie Tanner, you just won ninety packs of both, with a complimentary punch in the face.
Aside from my obvious disdain for fifth grade mathematics (and apparently Max Wright, for no good reason). I'm pretty sure I never really learned this, and moreover...I think it's going to make me try calculus one day.
I'm nerdy excited and real life terrified.
Also, you get tons of meaningless awards for being able to not fuck things up. It's probably a metaphor for something.
So in my quest for lifelong learning (apparently..), today I was dealing with "Least Common Multiples" and "Greatest Common Divisors," while I think I can (now) technically do both these things...I cannot imagine a world in which I will ever need them. The real world examples had things to do with the hotdog versus bun scenario, to which I say "Who would ever bother figuring this out? I'm not buying 96 packets of hotdogs just so I can finally use up all those pesky buns I bought off the back of a truck."
Who is actually ballsy enough to say "no no, we must figure this out! I'm not taking home any spare unless there's enough of both."? Because let me tell you, Willie Tanner, you just won ninety packs of both, with a complimentary punch in the face.
Aside from my obvious disdain for fifth grade mathematics (and apparently Max Wright, for no good reason). I'm pretty sure I never really learned this, and moreover...I think it's going to make me try calculus one day.
I'm nerdy excited and real life terrified.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Theodore Roosevelt is my Power Animal
Seriously, look it up. Dude’s a badass. He was sickly as a kid (because it was the 1800’s they could say that) so he decided to just get over it. Yes, decided that asthma didn’t matter. He’s the one you see riding a damn moose in the middle of the lake. He’s one of three presidents that won a Nobel Peace Prize. He was a legit cowboy and everyone knows “speak softly and carry a big stick.” Oh, and someone tried to assasinate him. Wikipedia says this:
This is why, when choosing a power animal...I couldn’t. Mere animals cannot compare. Next time, don’t channel a damn polar bear. Channel Theodore “Ultimate Badass” Roosevelt. (There's actually a lot more that this fellow managed to do...but you should look into it on your own...you know, because I've got distracted.)
On an unrelated note, in my next life I would like to be this Otter:
"Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he was not coughing blood, the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately."
This is why, when choosing a power animal...I couldn’t. Mere animals cannot compare. Next time, don’t channel a damn polar bear. Channel Theodore “Ultimate Badass” Roosevelt. (There's actually a lot more that this fellow managed to do...but you should look into it on your own...you know, because I've got distracted.)
On an unrelated note, in my next life I would like to be this Otter:
Monday, July 30, 2012
Damn you Paul....
Well, this is probably entirely Paul’s fault (over at WWWWD) because he mentioned I had a blog. Frankly, I thought I was doing a great job of forgetting about it.
So anyways, updating the updates....I recently changed absolutely nothing about my life...wait, I did buy a new belt at Winners, so...that’s a thing.
I’ve been watching TV lately because my internet has beennot so hot super shitty and let me tell you: TV sucks lately.
I’m mostly watching storage wars, and hoping for a Matthew Broderick movie to be on. Yesterday it was “Election.” I didn’t bother finishing. Also watching season three of Golden Girls. Because it’s there. I finished another art piece which I will probably post later. I’m a little worried because I don’t have another job lined up after August, but that generally works out on it’s own.
So....internet, if you or someone you know has a long term job that you think I could do...let me know.
Unless you want to pay me for this, then I’ll definitely start giving a shit.
But seriously, I should probably work on exercising more, because I haven’t been doing so, and it makes me feel like a fat ass. Especially since the Olympics are on and they're all clearly trying much harder than I ever have. Maybe I’ll go for a walk tomorrow.
Oh, and about the job thing....nothing skeezy internet. I’ve seen things. I am doing none of those. You’ve been warned.
So anyways, updating the updates....I recently changed absolutely nothing about my life...wait, I did buy a new belt at Winners, so...that’s a thing.
I’ve been watching TV lately because my internet has been
I’m mostly watching storage wars, and hoping for a Matthew Broderick movie to be on. Yesterday it was “Election.” I didn’t bother finishing. Also watching season three of Golden Girls. Because it’s there. I finished another art piece which I will probably post later. I’m a little worried because I don’t have another job lined up after August, but that generally works out on it’s own.
So....internet, if you or someone you know has a long term job that you think I could do...let me know.
Unless you want to pay me for this, then I’ll definitely start giving a shit.
But seriously, I should probably work on exercising more, because I haven’t been doing so, and it makes me feel like a fat ass. Especially since the Olympics are on and they're all clearly trying much harder than I ever have. Maybe I’ll go for a walk tomorrow.
Oh, and about the job thing....nothing skeezy internet. I’ve seen things. I am doing none of those. You’ve been warned.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
An Unlikely Movie Review
Things being things...it’s the long weekend. There’s fireworks everywhere and I can tell I’m not getting to sleep when I want to. SO....last....yesterday I went with my grandmother to see “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”
Here’s the clincher; it’s not for my demographic. At all. A surprisingly easy way to note this, is that I was the youngest person there...by a reasonable margin. A woman standing in line in front of me tried to give me a flyer to use as a “hat” while we all waited outside. By “tried” I mean, “placed on my head, and waited for me to thank her” I think she meant well.
That being said, the movie itself was surprisingly good. Charming and british and all that. It has the “Slumdog Millionaire” kid and the parents from “Shaun of the Dead.” (In case you don’t know, that means Dev Patel, Bill Nighy, and Penelope Wilton. In that order.) The whole thing is a good reflection of how getting older isn’t necessarily the same thing as waiting to die. Which is an important point, just about all the time.
Oh, and Judy Dench is in it too, so that’s cool. Maybe wait until it’s on Netflix.
Yep, this is the whole post. Totally worth waiting for, right? Just wait for the one about the sticky notes on my wall. That shit will be epic.*
*Note: clearly not epic.
Here’s the clincher; it’s not for my demographic. At all. A surprisingly easy way to note this, is that I was the youngest person there...by a reasonable margin. A woman standing in line in front of me tried to give me a flyer to use as a “hat” while we all waited outside. By “tried” I mean, “placed on my head, and waited for me to thank her” I think she meant well.
That being said, the movie itself was surprisingly good. Charming and british and all that. It has the “Slumdog Millionaire” kid and the parents from “Shaun of the Dead.” (In case you don’t know, that means Dev Patel, Bill Nighy, and Penelope Wilton. In that order.) The whole thing is a good reflection of how getting older isn’t necessarily the same thing as waiting to die. Which is an important point, just about all the time.
Oh, and Judy Dench is in it too, so that’s cool. Maybe wait until it’s on Netflix.
Yep, this is the whole post. Totally worth waiting for, right? Just wait for the one about the sticky notes on my wall. That shit will be epic.*
*Note: clearly not epic.
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