I’m Pretty Sure the Zombie Uprising is Upon Us.

After reading scary news reports of a zombie ant fungus thing, and jellyfish that also happen to be immortal, I’m reasonably sure that we're all going to die. 


Probably not in that “we all die eventually” kind of way.  I mean in that “sharpen your cricket bat, we’re goin’ hunting” kind of way. This is further evidenced by The Walking Dead being back on TV.  It’s basically a how-to guide for living after the apocalypse (Although, if you are living after the apocalypse it might not have done its job).  This is not to be confused with the actual Zombie Survival Guide, which I’m sure is more useful than a show that basically says what not to do after someone does it and manages to get killed eaten blown up disappeared. 


The best part is that the CDC sent out an “Emergency Preparedness and Response” plan for zombie attacks.  No.  Really.  Sure, the method of EPR is basically the same for all disasters, but there is a lack of munitions on that list.  For those of you who say “and no flamethrower!” stop kidding yourselves.  Nobody wants to deal with a flaming zombie (zombie flambé).  That might in fact be the one thing worse than a regular zombie.  Zombie. On.  Fire.  


Although there does exist on this internet somewhere a zombie matchmaker site with intro questions like “I am a slow moving zombie seeking a fast moving zombie.”  


This is what our world is coming to.  


Can you even sharpen a cricket bat?