Why the Zombie Apocalypse is Good for America

• Reduce overcrowding: not everyone gets to be a zombie or a survivor. Some (un)fortunate souls get to actually die.
• If it spreads anything like the plague it’ll wipe out the big centres first; farmers can probably keep generating food for a while and we can stop worrying about the economy because New York and LA are just hotbeds of disease. Zombie Disease.
• It’s like a war. Which, you know, always boosts the economy...right? *ahem*
• You’ll probably stop hearing from religious fanatics: They’ll assume it’s armageddon (which it could be) and try to get ‘saved’ (whatever that entails) which as far as I’m aware usually involves ‘leaving this world for another’ everyone wins.
• If those guys are gone, you can probably have their guns. Which is good. You’ll ned them to keep the horde at bay.
• Illegal immigrants will find a much more hostile welcome than guns and barbed wire. It’s almost like a security system if you can trap them zombies between the fences.
• You’ll make friends. Nothing brings a country together like being the sole survivors.
• You will probably meet the guys that cut themselves off from civilization during the cold war. They will teach you things it took them years to figure out. Fast-track your education.
• Housing prices will drop.
• You won’t have to worry about all that national debt.
• That pesky obesity ‘epidemic’ seems really like a moot point. The ones that can’t run will probably die. The ones that can will suddenly find their cardio workout very important.