Why Hate Ayn Rand?

If ever a post would garner me bad traffic, this would be it.


I’m going to say it.  It’s different from public opinion; I like Ayn Rand’s novels.  First, I will admit I’ve only read two: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged.  I find them both to be terribly verbose.  But I find them both to be enticing.  I don’t care what xkcd says (because there’s an apparent unyielding hatred for her works over there).

So, you’ve never heard of her and you don’t care.  Cool, please ignore this post and wait for another about something more interesting.  Probably about, I don’t know....running, tying ropes, or saying unflattering things about poultry.  Something like that.  Have a great day regardless.

Hey, you’re still here.  Awesome.  So here’s the trick; they’re both exceptionally long novels.  The Fountainhead clocks in around 694 pages for the Signet Paperback version.  Of the two, that was the easy read.  Atlas Shrugged clocks in at a staggering 1074 pages in the Signet Paperback market.  God help me it’s long, but in my opinion it’s worthwhile.

A lot of people (read: everyone who hates it) find both these works too long and the writing in both to be poor.  I’m of the opinion that it’s a style you’re simply no longer accustomed to.  They were written in 1943 and 1957 respectively.  People used different language.  

A little background: From what I understand, Ms. Rand managed to think up this philosophy we’ll call Objectivism.  The high points are that there exists an absolute reality, facts are facts despite what we might like to believe.  Reason is how we should perceive reality.  Man is an end to himself, not the means to the ends of others. (most of this is loosely or verbatim from the website.)

Now, a lot of this makes sense only from very specific standpoints: Nihilism’s a good choice.  Nihilism tells us in a very (very) truncated version that “nothing matters”.  Acres of self-interested teens take this to the usual depressing place.  I get that, but here’s the neat thing: if nothing matters...then there’s nothing standing in your way.  How cool is that? Society isn’t keeping you from doing anything, you’re allowing society to keep you from doing things.  Society doesn’t care whether you take up tap dance, horse racing, or choose only to eat tapioca for the rest of your life.  You get to choose that.  We all get to choose that, and that’s the neat part; society is made up of individuals that want their version of the good life for themselves.  Take away the idea that we have to worry about societal implications and it’s a whole new ball game. 

Note: If you're actually interested you should read up on nihilism.  This was a very bad example.

Suddenly; you’re choosing to pay taxes, because you believe in having neighbours, drivable streets and a police force that enforce a set of laws that you by and large have chosen to agree with.  Don’t agree with them?  Don’t want streets?  Feel free to live in a cabin in the woods.  Start over from scratch.  You can do that.  It’s your life.

It seems like we’re getting off track, but we’re not.  Here’s where Ms. Rand comes back in.  While I’ll admit that some of her specific ideals are cracked (check them out on your own if you like), the overarching themes are worth considering.  Somewhere on the internet I found the quote that  “You’ll find people aren’t holding the door open for you, but neither are they holding it shut.”  It’s showing (me at least) that we’re ultimately in charge of our own destiny.  People who work hard get rewarded, people who refuse do not.  You have no right to demand your personal happiness from others, much as they have no right to demand that from you.

Outside of this, I think she takes it too far.  It is a good point of inspiration; nobody’s going to pick you up and make you great.  You have to find it in yourself and show your greatness, then you’ll open yourself up to a world that allows great people to achieve great things. 

I still believe in social programs, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to try hard enough that you’ll never need them.  When you do, however, they will be there in force. 

Oh, and for the record; Atlas Shrugged is long because (so meta!) it’s illustrating that hard work pays off. Read through it, get a sense of accomplishment.

Being bad at math...

Hey all, so lately (the last 10 days?) I've been trying to brush up on my relatively terrible math skillz.  Mostly because I have none.  The internet revealed to me this place called the Khan Academy which is generally helping.  It's actually a pretty cool resource for those of us who can't remember basic things like how to do long division.  I guess I'm doing a review here...but if you feel shitty about your shitty skills...look into it maybe?  There's videos and lots of things to do, it's free and by and large terribly informative.


Also, you get tons of meaningless awards for being able to not fuck things up.  It's probably a metaphor for something.

So in my quest for lifelong learning (apparently..), today I was dealing with "Least Common Multiples" and "Greatest Common Divisors," while I think I can (now) technically do both these things...I cannot imagine a world in which I will ever need them.  The real world examples had things to do with the hotdog versus bun scenario, to which I say "Who would ever bother figuring this out? I'm not buying 96 packets of hotdogs just so I can finally use up all those pesky buns I bought off the back of a truck."

Who is actually ballsy enough to say "no no, we must figure this out! I'm not taking home any spare unless there's enough of both."?  Because let me tell you, Willie Tanner, you just won ninety packs of both, with a complimentary punch in the face.

Aside from my obvious disdain for fifth grade mathematics (and apparently Max Wright, for no good reason).  I'm pretty sure I never really learned this, and moreover...I think it's going to make me try calculus one day. 

I'm nerdy excited and real life terrified. 

Theodore Roosevelt is my Power Animal

 Seriously, look it up. Dude’s a badass. He was sickly as a kid (because it was the 1800’s they could say that) so he decided to just get over it. Yes, decided that asthma didn’t matter. He’s the one you see riding a damn moose in the middle of the lake. He’s one of three presidents that won a Nobel Peace Prize. He was a legit cowboy and everyone knows “speak softly and carry a big stick.”  Oh, and someone tried to assasinate him. Wikipedia says this:

"Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he was not coughing blood, the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately."

 This is why, when choosing a power animal...I couldn’t. Mere animals cannot compare. Next time, don’t channel a damn polar bear. Channel Theodore “Ultimate Badass” Roosevelt.  (There's actually a lot more that this fellow managed to do...but you should look into it on your own...you know, because I've got distracted.)

On an unrelated note, in my next life I would like to be this Otter:

Damn you Paul....

Well, this is probably entirely Paul’s fault (over at WWWWD) because he mentioned I had a blog. Frankly, I thought I was doing a great job of forgetting about it.
So anyways, updating the updates....I recently changed absolutely nothing about my life...wait, I did buy a new belt at Winners, so...that’s a thing.

I’ve been watching TV lately because my internet has been not so hot super shitty and let me tell you: TV sucks lately.
I’m mostly watching storage wars, and hoping for a Matthew Broderick movie to be on. Yesterday it was “Election.” I didn’t bother finishing. Also watching season three of Golden Girls. Because it’s there. I finished another art piece which I will probably post later. I’m a little worried because I don’t have another job lined up after August, but that generally works out on it’s own.

So....internet, if you or someone you know has a long term job that you think I could do...let me know.

Unless you want to pay me for this, then I’ll definitely start giving a shit.  

But seriously, I should probably work on exercising more, because I haven’t been doing so, and it makes me feel like a fat ass. Especially since the Olympics are on and they're all clearly trying much harder than I ever have. Maybe I’ll go for a walk tomorrow.  

Oh, and about the job thing....nothing skeezy internet. I’ve seen things. I am doing none of those. You’ve been warned. 

An Unlikely Movie Review

Things being things...it’s the long weekend. There’s fireworks everywhere and I can tell I’m not getting to sleep when I want to. SO....last....yesterday I went with my grandmother to see “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”

Here’s the clincher; it’s not for my demographic. At all. A surprisingly easy way to note this, is that I was the youngest person there...by a reasonable margin. A woman standing in line in front of me tried to give me a flyer to use as a “hat” while we all waited outside. By “tried” I mean, “placed on my head, and waited for me to thank her” I think she meant well.

That being said, the movie itself was surprisingly good. Charming and british and all that. It has the “Slumdog Millionaire” kid and the parents from “Shaun of the Dead.” (In case you don’t know, that means Dev Patel, Bill Nighy, and Penelope Wilton. In that order.) The whole thing is a good reflection of how getting older isn’t necessarily the same thing as waiting to die. Which is an important point, just about all the time.

Oh, and Judy Dench is in it too, so that’s cool. Maybe wait until it’s on Netflix.

Yep, this is the whole post. Totally worth waiting for, right? Just wait for the one about the sticky notes on my wall. That shit will be epic.*


*Note: clearly not epic.

Another art piece...

A bit of a gimme post here...Just tossing this up, I'm hopeful that you can squint and see what's going on:

or, you know...maybe it's pretty obvious. As always, up for sale.

Stealing things from the internet: Vol 2: The Return of Hackneyed Writing: I’m going to lose my russians.

If Wil Wheaton can manage to start up his Radio Free Burrito again, I should at least pretend that something exciting has happened somewhere.



SO: Spend about 40 minutes listening to Wil: http://radiofreeburrito.com/2012/03/index.html  


Uh, I bought one of those tablet thingies. It’s cool and makes me believe yet again that we live in the future.
I’m super excited that the Hunger Games is impending in movie-land...just like every 14 year old out there. 


Community is back on the tv! About damn time NBC.



Hanna Hart did an MRE episode where she attempts to “eat” some military “food”. It goes as expected, I can’t decide whether Bud Light helped or hurt:

I’ve been slacking at life...worked at being better at ukulele, as that’s obviously an important life skill.  I am still reading the longest Stephen King book ever; The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition just.  keeps. going.  I mean, it’s really a solid read, it just never ends.  I’ve been reading it so long I got a cold, thought I would die (because that’s how it all starts in the book) and recovered with little fanfare and equal parts embarrassment and disappointment.  At 1152 pages Wikipedia tells me it’s 10 pages longer than his other epic: It.  (Un?)fortunately I already bought the movie for about $5 and so will be unlikely to read it.  Really I'm just saving myself a lot of time.


Oh, which brings me to Hearts in Atlantis which is really so much better than the movie and entirely worth reading, though the title really only pertains to the...second? story...which makes it a strange title for the movie, and also explains why it makes significantly less sense as a movie than it does as a collection of vaguely related stories.  If you’ve had no experience with either, read it first then watch the movie (if you feel like you have to). 


Ugh, coming up with nothing is challenging and I’m not into it today.  The winter that never was looks like it’s ended here, and with my natural comic timing, this can only mean that there will be a massive snow squall rip across the city tomorrow. 


In related news my comedic timing goes something like this:


Step 1: make vaguely inappropriate joke
Step 2: get tepid-at-best response, complete with awkward glances
Step 3: watch something terrible and entirely related to my joke happen
Step 4: feel like an insensitive shitbag
Step 5: repeat 1-4 as necessary.  


At this point I think I’ve checked Facebook 14 times in the last 20 minutes.  Nothing has changed.  Obviously I want to be done here.  I’ll try to come up with better stuff soontimes.